Donald Trump Proposes Sharing Needles to Cut Down on Costs
On Saturday, President Donald Trump suggested intravenous drug users begin sanitizing and sharing needles to cut down on costs and conserve those in short supply.
Man Gives Up on New Year’s Resolution
After just one day into the new decade, a local man admitted that he had already given up on his 2020 New Year’s resolution.
Man Admits “I Smear Poop in My Beard on Purpose”
Child Sentenced to Prison for Unpaid School Lunch Debt
Disgruntled Lesbians & Genderqueer Activists Burn Dave Chappelle at the Stake
On Monday evening, a coven of disgruntled lesbians and genderqueer activists kidnapped Dave Chappelle from his home and burned the helpless comic at the stake.
Liberal Loses Sense of Humor
“Playa Lung” Class Action Lawsuit Filed After Annual Burning Man Festival Comes to a Close
Early Tuesday morning, a local Reno-based law firm filed a class-action lawsuit against The Burning Man Project; the non-profit organization that produces the annual Burning Man festival.
100th Instagram Influencer Falls Into Grand Canyon This Year
Local authorities and park rangers have confirmed that the 100th Instagram influencer has fallen to their death this year.
FOX Announces New Show “Pedophile Island” to Begin Filming at Jeffrey Epstein’s Property
Early this morning, the Fox Network announced they would begin filming their hot new reality show Pedophile Island next Saturday.
Latest Articles
After decades of oppression “Wasp Pride” Movement Gains Momentum
Mitch McConnell’s Face Collapses in on Itself
Federal Highway Administration To Sell Interstate Naming Rights
With growing deficits and spending cuts forecast, the FHA announced it will begin selling naming rights to all federal interstate highways.
Government Subsidized “Karen” program Offers Free Name Changes to Avoid Public Distain
National Apple Lobby Releases Ad Campaign Aimed at Distancing Fruit’s Comparison to Police
Washington Redskins Change Name to Washington Foreskins
In an effort to assuage people offended by the term Redskins, the NFL team in Washington made a decision to change their name to the Foreskins.
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