U.S. Government Builds Artificial Reef Out of Excess Shake Weights
Pat Robertson Attributes Las Vegas Grasshopper Invasion to “Pact with Satan”
An invasion of grasshoppers descended on Las Vegas this past week, taking over the Strip and several of the city’s most popular tourist spots, including the night skies above the Luxor hotel and casino. And right on cue, televangelist Pat Robertson was ready to play the blame game.
Congress Unanimously Passes Law Outlawing Release of Further “Land Before Time” Films
In a landmark decision made Monday Morning, the United States Congress outlawed the production and release of further Land Before Time films.
Ecuador Gives U.S. Military Permission to Use Galapagos Tortoises for Bomb Detection
In a shocking announcement made Friday morning, the US Government said that they had struck a deal with Ecuadorian president Lenín Moreno to use the local tortoise population to detect and disarm bombs and land mines.
Pepe The King Prawn Enters Rehab for Fentanyl Addiction
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After decades of oppression “Wasp Pride” Movement Gains Momentum
Mitch McConnell’s Face Collapses in on Itself
Federal Highway Administration To Sell Interstate Naming Rights
With growing deficits and spending cuts forecast, the FHA announced it will begin selling naming rights to all federal interstate highways.
Government Subsidized “Karen” program Offers Free Name Changes to Avoid Public Distain
National Apple Lobby Releases Ad Campaign Aimed at Distancing Fruit’s Comparison to Police
Washington Redskins Change Name to Washington Foreskins
In an effort to assuage people offended by the term Redskins, the NFL team in Washington made a decision to change their name to the Foreskins.
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