Freshly Meal Subscription Service introduces New “Freshly Broke” Discount cuisine
Meal subscription service Freshly introduces new “Freshly Broke” discount cuisine delivery for recently-destitute singles with major depression.
Joe Biden Selects Apple Pie As Vice Presidential Running Mate
Democratic presidential frontrunner Joe Biden announced he had made his selection for his 2020 Vice Presidential running mate – an apple pie.
Local Child Dies After Consuming Expired Car Seat
Recent reports indicate that the failure to replace a child’s expired car seat has resulted in the death of a toddler who consumed a portion of the outdated vehicular safety device.
Hell’s Kitchen Restaurant Unveils New Toilet Paper Inspired Menu
Hillary Clinton Retires From Politics to Open “Blue Waffle” Cafe
In a surprising announcement, Democratic politician Hillary Clinton has announced her retirement from politics to open her dream cafe – The Blue Waffle.
Kellogg’s Introduces “Oops All Foreskin” Cereal
American multinational cereal manufacturing Kellogg’s has announced production of a new cereal called “Oops All Foreskin”.
Vegan Begins Eating Rocks After Discovering Plants Have Souls
Yelp Beats Out Monsanto For Coveted “World’s Most Hated Company” Award
Trump Pardons Joe Exotic in Desperate Bid for “the Gay Vote”
In a desperate bid to secure “the gay vote” in the 2020 presidential election, Donald Trump announced he would pardon Tiger King Joe Exotic.
“The Fuckening” – Fuck Bots of the Future, Today!
Once AI is implemented we’re gonna have a national security issue on our hands & wangs. Sit tight humanity. The fuck bots are cumming to a store near you.
Donald Trump – “My Pillow” May Cure Coronavirus
According to a recent announcement by President Donald Trump, buying your very own “My Pillow” may help cure coronavirus.
Family Dog Caught In Possession of Sample Ballot
According to a conservative woman, their family dog was caught with a sample ballot and was planning to vote for Joe Biden.
Vulture Lands on Biden’s Podium During Televised Campaign Speech
During a recent televised public address, a menacing vulture landed on Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden’s podium.
National Strippers’ Union to Phase out Police Uniforms
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