K-Y Introduces New Kosher Personal Lubricant
Just in time for Passover, personal lubricant producer K-Y rolled out their new line of Kosher-certified silicone and water-based sex jellies.
Crazed Gunman Shoots Up Church of Scientology, Nobody Cares
Apparently, over 3 weeks ago, a crazed gunman entered the Church of Scientology headquarters in LA and opened fire, killing 42 people. However, nobody even noticed!
Donald Trump Ascends Into Heaven
Early Saturday Morning, to the shock and dismay of Libtards and Snowflakes across the US, President Donald J. Trump ascended into heaven. Amid a choir of angels, our dear leader transcended this plane and now sits at the right hand of The Father, reuniting the once frayed consubstantial trinity.
Pat Robertson Attributes Las Vegas Grasshopper Invasion to “Pact with Satan”
An invasion of grasshoppers descended on Las Vegas this past week, taking over the Strip and several of the city’s most popular tourist spots, including the night skies above the Luxor hotel and casino. And right on cue, televangelist Pat Robertson was ready to play the blame game.
“Amazing Atheist” TJ Kirk Converts to Scientology
In a surprising move, famed anti-religious YouTube personality “The Amazing Atheist” has announced he has converted to Scientology.
Trump Pardons Joe Exotic in Desperate Bid for “the Gay Vote”
In a desperate bid to secure “the gay vote” in the 2020 presidential election, Donald Trump announced he would pardon Tiger King Joe Exotic.
“The Fuckening” – Fuck Bots of the Future, Today!
Once AI is implemented we’re gonna have a national security issue on our hands & wangs. Sit tight humanity. The fuck bots are cumming to a store near you.
Donald Trump – “My Pillow” May Cure Coronavirus
According to a recent announcement by President Donald Trump, buying your very own “My Pillow” may help cure coronavirus.
Family Dog Caught In Possession of Sample Ballot
According to a conservative woman, their family dog was caught with a sample ballot and was planning to vote for Joe Biden.
Vulture Lands on Biden’s Podium During Televised Campaign Speech
During a recent televised public address, a menacing vulture landed on Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden’s podium.
National Strippers’ Union to Phase out Police Uniforms
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