Ukrainian President Rates Trump’s Call a “C+ at Best”
Facebook Pulls All Content, Bans Everyone Indefinitely
Facebook users awoke to find every piece of content they’d ever posted had been flagged for violations of community standards, and consequently, they had been banned from the platform indefinitely.
Ecuador Gives U.S. Military Permission to Use Galapagos Tortoises for Bomb Detection
In a shocking announcement made Friday morning, the US Government said that they had struck a deal with Ecuadorian president Lenín Moreno to use the local tortoise population to detect and disarm bombs and land mines.
Trump Pardons Joe Exotic in Desperate Bid for “the Gay Vote”
In a desperate bid to secure “the gay vote” in the 2020 presidential election, Donald Trump announced he would pardon Tiger King Joe Exotic.
“The Fuckening” – Fuck Bots of the Future, Today!
Once AI is implemented we’re gonna have a national security issue on our hands & wangs. Sit tight humanity. The fuck bots are cumming to a store near you.
Donald Trump – “My Pillow” May Cure Coronavirus
According to a recent announcement by President Donald Trump, buying your very own “My Pillow” may help cure coronavirus.
Family Dog Caught In Possession of Sample Ballot
According to a conservative woman, their family dog was caught with a sample ballot and was planning to vote for Joe Biden.
Vulture Lands on Biden’s Podium During Televised Campaign Speech
During a recent televised public address, a menacing vulture landed on Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden’s podium.
National Strippers’ Union to Phase out Police Uniforms
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