Mayor Carolyn Goodman Begins Strangling Las Vegas Residents to Death
After her embarrassing suggestion to reopen the city of Las Vegas was met with scorn and ridicule, Mayor Carolyn Goodman began strangling random citizens to death.
Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick Sacrifices Self to Volcano
After his pleas to save the U.S. economy fell on deaf ears, Dan Patrick threw himself into the Mauna Loa volcano in Hawaii.
After DOW Jones Collapse, President Donald J. Trump Shot into the Sun
After the DOW Jones lost over 1,000 points, sitting president Donald J. Trump was loaded into a very big cannon and shot into the sun.
Trump Pardons Joe Exotic in Desperate Bid for “the Gay Vote”
In a desperate bid to secure “the gay vote” in the 2020 presidential election, Donald Trump announced he would pardon Tiger King Joe Exotic.
“The Fuckening” – Fuck Bots of the Future, Today!
Once AI is implemented we’re gonna have a national security issue on our hands & wangs. Sit tight humanity. The fuck bots are cumming to a store near you.
Donald Trump – “My Pillow” May Cure Coronavirus
According to a recent announcement by President Donald Trump, buying your very own “My Pillow” may help cure coronavirus.
Family Dog Caught In Possession of Sample Ballot
According to a conservative woman, their family dog was caught with a sample ballot and was planning to vote for Joe Biden.
Vulture Lands on Biden’s Podium During Televised Campaign Speech
During a recent televised public address, a menacing vulture landed on Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden’s podium.
National Strippers’ Union to Phase out Police Uniforms
Stay Up to Date With The Latest News & Info
Join Our Newsletter
Our newsletter will be coming soon. Please check back in a bit to subscribe to MatterHorn’s email list.
Join in on the Fun!
Follow MatterHorn on our various Social Media accounts for constant content updates, memes, contest opportunities, and more!