A local HAZMAT team has been called to clean up a recently-discovered large scale clandestine toilet paper lab operating out of Sun Valley, Nevada.
In a historic drug bust, nearly 2lbs of black market toilet paper laced with the deadly synthetic narcotic Fentanyl was seized after a routine traffic stop.
Apparently, over 3 weeks ago, a crazed gunman entered the Church of Scientology headquarters in LA and opened fire, killing 42 people. However, nobody even noticed!
In a shocking announcement on Wednesday afternoon, Carole Baskin, owner of Big Cat Rescue, announced she had orchestrated and successfully carried out the murder of Jeffrey Epstein.
After a 23 year sentence, recovering from major back surgery, heart issues, and after contracting the Coronavirus, Harvey Weinstein spontaneously combusted on his way back to prison.
In a desperate bid to secure “the gay vote” in the 2020 presidential election, Donald Trump announced he would pardon Tiger King Joe Exotic.
Once AI is implemented we’re gonna have a national security issue on our hands & wangs. Sit tight humanity. The fuck bots are cumming to a store near you.
According to a recent announcement by President Donald Trump, buying your very own “My Pillow” may help cure coronavirus.
According to a conservative woman, their family dog was caught with a sample ballot and was planning to vote for Joe Biden.
During a recent televised public address, a menacing vulture landed on Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden’s podium.
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