After decades of oppression “Wasp Pride” Movement Gains Momentum
National Apple Lobby Releases Ad Campaign Aimed at Distancing Fruit’s Comparison to Police
Washington Redskins Change Name to Washington Foreskins
In an effort to assuage people offended by the term Redskins, the NFL team in Washington made a decision to change their name to the Foreskins.
Amid Calls from Liberals, Spic and Span Cleaning Products to Change Name and Logo to Something More Ethnically Sensitive
Spic and Span has announced they will change their name and logo, acknowledging the brand’s origins rooted in racial hatred of Latinos.
Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick Sacrifices Self to Volcano
After his pleas to save the U.S. economy fell on deaf ears, Dan Patrick threw himself into the Mauna Loa volcano in Hawaii.
“Birdie Sanders” Comes Clean in New Tell-all Book
In a scathing new tell-all book, a bird affectionately known to some as “Birdie Sanders” claims he was hired by the senator’s presidential campaign as a ploy to lend credibility to Sanders’ 2016 presidential bid.
FDA Set to Ban Stem Cell Vaping
Amid growing health and safety concerns for the public, the United States’ Food and Drug Administration has announced plans to ban the recent practice of stem cell vaping.
Vegan Begins Eating Rocks After Discovering Plants Have Souls
Polar Ice Caps Stop Melting After Plastic Straw Ban
Latest Articles
Trump Pardons Joe Exotic in Desperate Bid for “the Gay Vote”
In a desperate bid to secure “the gay vote” in the 2020 presidential election, Donald Trump announced he would pardon Tiger King Joe Exotic.
“The Fuckening” – Fuck Bots of the Future, Today!
Once AI is implemented we’re gonna have a national security issue on our hands & wangs. Sit tight humanity. The fuck bots are cumming to a store near you.
Donald Trump – “My Pillow” May Cure Coronavirus
According to a recent announcement by President Donald Trump, buying your very own “My Pillow” may help cure coronavirus.
Family Dog Caught In Possession of Sample Ballot
According to a conservative woman, their family dog was caught with a sample ballot and was planning to vote for Joe Biden.
Vulture Lands on Biden’s Podium During Televised Campaign Speech
During a recent televised public address, a menacing vulture landed on Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden’s podium.
National Strippers’ Union to Phase out Police Uniforms
Stay Up to Date With The Latest News & Info
Join Our Newsletter
Our newsletter will be coming soon. Please check back in a bit to subscribe to MatterHorn’s email list.
Join in on the Fun!
Follow MatterHorn on our various Social Media accounts for constant content updates, memes, contest opportunities, and more!