Trump Pardons Joe Exotic in Desperate Bid for “the Gay Vote”
In a desperate bid to secure “the gay vote” in the 2020 presidential election, Donald Trump announced he would pardon Tiger King Joe Exotic.
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Category: National
Federal Highway Administration To Sell Interstate Naming Rights
With growing deficits and spending cuts forecast, the FHA announced it will begin selling naming rights to all federal interstate highways.
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Joe Biden Selects Apple Pie As Vice Presidential Running Mate
Democratic presidential frontrunner Joe Biden announced he had made his selection for his 2020 Vice Presidential running mate – an apple pie.
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Donald Trump Appoints Mr. Clean to Head Sanitation commission
As part of his new Coronavirus task force, President Donald Trump appointed Mr. Clean as the head of the defunct U.S. Sanitary Commission.
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Donald Trump Misspells Name on COVID-19 Stimulus Checks
After demanding his signature be placed on the COVID-19 stimulus checks, staffers realized Trump had misspelled his name.
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Bernie Sanders Emerges After Escaping DNC Torture Chamber
The REAL Bernie Sanders emerged in Washington, D.C. Wednesday morning after being held captive in a secret DNC torture chamber.
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Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick Sacrifices Self to Volcano
After his pleas to save the U.S. economy fell on deaf ears, Dan Patrick threw himself into the Mauna Loa volcano in Hawaii.
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Donald Trump Proposes Sharing Needles to Cut Down on Costs
On Saturday, President Donald Trump suggested intravenous drug users begin sanitizing and sharing needles to cut down on costs and conserve those in short supply.
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After DOW Jones Collapse, President Donald J. Trump Shot into the Sun
After the DOW Jones lost over 1,000 points, sitting president Donald J. Trump was loaded into a very big cannon and shot into the sun.
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