GRAND CANYON NATIONAL PARK, ARIZONA – Local authorities and park rangers have confirmed that the 100th Instagram influencer has fallen to his death this year.
Apparently, Instagrammer Brandon Babcock (aka n8ture_boi69) lost his balance and tumbled into the 6,000-foot canyon late Sunday afternoon while attempting to take a selfie to share with his followers. “This summer has been an especially deadly one for Instagram influencers,” said park ranger Don Messick. “These damn kids won’t take their eyes off their damn phones and keep falling in.”
Instagram influencers frequently place themselves in dangerous situations in order to please their followers. They climb steep mountains, swim with sharks, and light themselves on fire, all for the delight of their fans. In many cases, they do so as brand representatives who are paid per post to push products on their legion of internet groupies who follow their every move.
At approximately 2:45 pm Pacific Time, a group of nearby tourists spotted Babcock as he began to slip and fall into the legendary gorge. Fellow Instagram influencer she_hulk_420 was able to snap a photo of Babcock’s final moments as he plummeted down to his doom. So far, the image has proven to be quite popular with her followers, garnering over 25,000 hearts and 62,000 comments.
Authorities still have yet to locate Babcock’s corpse, but his followers have expressed their desire to see pictures of it as soon as possible. “Pressure is really mounting, and honestly, we’re afraid of the backlash that might happen should we fail to find him,” said officer Marcus Jellystone. “We still haven’t found 23 of the other influencers who’ve fallen in this summer.” The Arizona Department of Wildlife has issued an emergency alert urging all Instagram influencers to stay at least 500 yards away from the Grand Canyon for the rest of the season.
Babcock’s numerous sponsors have already begun tweeting about his passing. LaCroix tweeted “Our heartfelt sympathies go out to his family and to his fans. We’re forever grateful for all the work he’s done to help us sell our barely-palatable soft drinks.” Additionally, monthly subscription-based razor company Dollar Shave Club tweeted “Words can’t express how saddened we are to hear about Brandon’s untimely death. We just wish he had shaved before his trip. It very well may have saved his life.”
As of 5:00 pm, the hashtags #lostbutnotforgotten, #saynotobeards, and #69forever are currently trending on all social media outlets.