Boise, Idaho – Late Thursday afternoon, a local pervert took to Twitter to express his disappointment in his free PornHub Premium Membership. Matthew Horton, a janitor at a local Chuck E. Cheese, told his 8 followers that his experience with the online pornography service had been “subpar at best.”

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PornHub Premium FREE during COVID-19

For those not in the know, in late March, PornHub began offering free Premium membership access to the site. According to Corey Price, PornHub’s vice president, the free PornHub Premium offer was the website’s way of encouraging people to follow proper social distancing and lockdown measures, in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic.

But despite their generous offer, Mr. Horton was not impressed. In fact, he was downright upset. “When I found out PornHub was offering free premium memberships, I was really excited. Like, REALLY excited! Like REALLY REALLY excited, if you know what I mean,” said Horton.

However, the distraught pervert claims that upon signing up for his membership, things quickly went south. “I had high hopes, you know? I mean, I had waited for an opportunity like this for years,” said Horton. “But the site was basically the same. I expected access to dirty things… disgusting things… creepy things… But it was just more of the same old crap.”

Local sex pervert "StudlyChub"
Local Pervert “StudlyChub”

“Later, I figured I’d give the Live Sex Feed a go. Talk about a letdown! The cam girls kept their clothes on, like, the entire time. What’s the deal with that? I waited and waited and waited. Nothing.”

Mr. Horton has since filed a complaint with the Better Business Bureau and requested PornHub pay for premium access to as compensation for his poor customer experience. According to Mr. Horton, representatives from PornHub have yet to respond to his request.