Donald Trump – “Boofing Hand Sanitizer May Cure Coronavirus”
After yet another failed attempt at finding a cure for the Coronavirus, Donald Trump suggested that “boofing hand sanitizer” may be the answer.
Mayor Carolyn Goodman Begins Strangling Las Vegas Residents to Death
After her embarrassing suggestion to reopen the city of Las Vegas was met with scorn and ridicule, Mayor Carolyn Goodman began strangling random citizens to death.
Donald Trump Misspells Name on COVID-19 Stimulus Checks
After demanding his signature be placed on the COVID-19 stimulus checks, staffers realized Trump had misspelled his name.
Bernie Sanders Emerges After Escaping DNC Torture Chamber
The REAL Bernie Sanders emerged in Washington, D.C. Wednesday morning after being held captive in a secret DNC torture chamber.
Kennedy Family Agrees to Sterilize all Remaining Members
After yet another tragedy, the remaining members of the Kennedy family announced they’d be sterilizing themselves in order to put an end to their cursed bloodline.
Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick Sacrifices Self to Volcano
After his pleas to save the U.S. economy fell on deaf ears, Dan Patrick threw himself into the Mauna Loa volcano in Hawaii.
Comedy Writers Exhausted Trying to Keep Up With Trump
With the endless amount of nonsensical things that comes out of Donald Trump’s mouth, satirical comedy writers are beginning to suffer from exhaustion.
“Birdie Sanders” Comes Clean in New Tell-all Book
In a scathing new tell-all book, a bird affectionately known to some as “Birdie Sanders” claims he was hired by the senator’s presidential campaign as a ploy to lend credibility to Sanders’ 2016 presidential bid.
Donald Trump Proposes Sharing Needles to Cut Down on Costs
On Saturday, President Donald Trump suggested intravenous drug users begin sanitizing and sharing needles to cut down on costs and conserve those in short supply.
Latest Articles
After decades of oppression “Wasp Pride” Movement Gains Momentum
Mitch McConnell’s Face Collapses in on Itself
Federal Highway Administration To Sell Interstate Naming Rights
With growing deficits and spending cuts forecast, the FHA announced it will begin selling naming rights to all federal interstate highways.
Government Subsidized “Karen” program Offers Free Name Changes to Avoid Public Distain
National Apple Lobby Releases Ad Campaign Aimed at Distancing Fruit’s Comparison to Police
Washington Redskins Change Name to Washington Foreskins
In an effort to assuage people offended by the term Redskins, the NFL team in Washington made a decision to change their name to the Foreskins.
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