Question:

Dear Emily,

What’s the best way to get over a douchebag ex?

Sincerely,
“X”

Answer:

Dear X,

Exes are one thing. Douchebags are another.  It should be easy to get over a douchebag if you have any self-respect. If you’re finding it hard because you have no self-worth, then focus on building up your self-esteem rather than “getting over your ex.”

Spend time doing things that you enjoy and haven’t done in a while because you prioritized this other person over own interests and passions. Spend time with friends who aren’t douchebags. Honor your friendships. Make them stronger. Be a good friend and be there for them. Prioritize people who are important to you. You’ll be less likely to run to the arms of a douchebag if you have better people around you all the time. By being a better friend, you’ll start to value yourself more, while allowing your friends to follow suit.

Next thing? Therapy. Find a therapist. See them weekly. Forever. At least for as long as you dated the douchebag. If you gave him that much time, give a therapist at least as much time to help you and be there for you. And you’re going to go to therapy not just to get over your douchebag ex, but to find the real issues you’re holding on to that allow you to make decisions that lead you to date him in the first place. Additionally, you should be able to discover why you can’t get over him.

Lastly, don’t try dating anyone else or sleeping with anyone else yet. That doesn’t work and you will likely repeat the same cycle of self-harm again.

Best of luck,
Emily

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