Dear Emily,

Staying indoors with my two hyper kids during this coronavirus pandemic is driving me to my wit’s end. How can I help myself help them so none of us end up dead from the virus, or boredom, or killing each other?

Mom on the Verge


Dear Mom,

I completely understand. My two kids (aka my dogs) need constant attention. Feeding, watering, playing, walking… you name it. Personally, I find that the more frequently we go on walks, the less attention they need at home.

So I recommend grabbing a couple of kid harnesses. Hook those kids on up and get outside for a walk. In fact, take them outside for a walk every day. No, twice a day! Wear those kids out!

And with the leashes, they can only go so far or get so close to other people. After all, a “SAFETY FIRST” approach is your best bet in these crazy times! Utilizing the leashes, you won’t have to worry about them contracting or spreading the virus. As for your potential issues with familicide, try Scrabble!

Best of luck,

About Ask Emily

Ask Emily is a whacky, satirical advice column brought to you by Content Spew.

Have a burning question you want to be answered? Seeking sound advice for a problem or dilemma? Curious about something that has you perplexed? Well, Emily is here to answer your questions. You may not like the answers or find them helpful, but they should at least provide some comic relief. Hey, at least it’s cheaper and more fun than therapy.

If you’d like to ask Emily a question of your own, fill out the form on the Ask Emily page and she’ll try to get back to you as soon as possible.

You can also visit our Facebook Group page to ask her questions directly. Come join in on the fun!