Donald Trump – “My Pillow” May Cure Coronavirus
According to a recent announcement by President Donald Trump, buying your very own “My Pillow” may help cure coronavirus.
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Tag: coronavirus
Opinion: Everyone But Me Needs to Get Back to Normal
Why are you all sitting at home? Because the government told you to? Stop being a pussy. It’s time for things to get back to normal.
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Clandestine Toilet Paper Lab Discovered in Sun Valley, NV
A local HAZMAT team has been called to clean up a recently-discovered large scale clandestine toilet paper lab operating out of Sun Valley, Nevada.
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Nevada Brothels Prepare to Offer Social Distanced Services Upon Reopening
With the phased reopening of businesses in the state of Nevada underway, the Nevada sex industry is prepping its own guidelines for reopening its members’ doors.
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Freshly Meal Subscription Service introduces New “Freshly Broke” Discount cuisine
Meal subscription service Freshly introduces new “Freshly Broke” discount cuisine delivery for recently-destitute singles with major depression.
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Crust Punk May Hold Key To Coronavirus Cure
Doctors confirm that a local homeless crust punk from New York City may hold the key to a cure for Coronavirus.
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Donald Trump Appoints Mr. Clean to Head Sanitation commission
As part of his new Coronavirus task force, President Donald Trump appointed Mr. Clean as the head of the defunct U.S. Sanitary Commission.
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Donald Trump – “Boofing Hand Sanitizer May Cure Coronavirus”
After yet another failed attempt at finding a cure for the Coronavirus, Donald Trump suggested that “boofing hand sanitizer” may be the answer.
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Ask Emily – “Crazy for You… Or Not”
“Sheltering in place has made me question a lot about my long-term relationship. Am I satisfied? Is it worth the hassle? Am I crazy?”
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Mayor Carolyn Goodman Begins Strangling Las Vegas Residents to Death
After her embarrassing suggestion to reopen the city of Las Vegas was met with scorn and ridicule, Mayor Carolyn Goodman began strangling random citizens to death.
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Amid Coronavirus Pandemic, New York Hospitals Reach out to Volunteers for Homemade Body Bags
Amid cries for help from overwhelmed doctors, nurses, and coroners, hospitals have begun reaching out to the public to supply homemade body bags.
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