Category: Crime
Clandestine Toilet Paper Lab Discovered in Sun Valley, NV
A local HAZMAT team has been called to clean up a recently-discovered large scale clandestine toilet paper lab operating out of Sun Valley, Nevada.
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Local Deputies Seize Black Market Toilet Paper Laced With Fentanyl
In a historic drug bust, nearly 2lbs of black market toilet paper laced with the deadly synthetic narcotic Fentanyl was seized after a routine traffic stop.
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Crazed Gunman Shoots Up Church of Scientology, Nobody Cares
Apparently, over 3 weeks ago, a crazed gunman entered the Church of Scientology headquarters in LA and opened fire, killing 42 people. However, nobody even noticed!
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Carole Baskin – “I Killed Jeffrey Epstein”
In a shocking announcement on Wednesday afternoon, Carole Baskin, owner of Big Cat Rescue, announced she had orchestrated and successfully carried out the murder of Jeffrey Epstein.
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Harvey Weinstein Spontaneously Combusts
After a 23 year sentence, recovering from major back surgery, heart issues, and after contracting the Coronavirus, Harvey Weinstein spontaneously combusted on his way back to prison.
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Disgruntled Lesbians & Genderqueer Activists Burn Dave Chappelle at the Stake
On Monday evening, a coven of disgruntled lesbians and genderqueer activists kidnapped Dave Chappelle from his home and burned the helpless comic at the stake.
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FOX Announces New Show “Pedophile Island” to Begin Filming at Jeffrey Epstein’s Property
Early this morning, the Fox Network announced they would begin filming their hot new reality show Pedophile Island next Saturday.
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