Donald Trump Ascends Into Heaven
Early Saturday Morning, to the shock and dismay of Libtards and Snowflakes across the US, President Donald J. Trump ascended into heaven. Amid a choir of angels, our dear leader transcended this plane and now sits at the right hand of The Father, reuniting the once frayed consubstantial trinity.
Joe Rogan Set to Moderate UFC Fight Between Donald Trump & Bernie Sanders
Nancy Pelosi’s Top 5 Beauty Secrets Revealed (You Won’T Believe Number 4!)
Find out the top 5 beauty secrets that Democratic Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi uses to maintain her youthful, vibrant look!
Comedy in a Divided Nation
No one doubts the United States of America is a socially frayed nation. We are struggling to find unity and common ground in an era of contradicting values, hyper-partisan politics and a toxic 24/7 news and social media cycle.
Donald Trump Melts During Rainy 4th of July Extravaganza
Donald Trump’s speech at his 4th of July “Salute to America” event ended abruptly when a sudden downpour of rain caused the president to melt.
Presidential Hopeful Bernie Sanders Shits Pants on Stage
On Tuesday morning, sources confirmed that 2020 Democratic presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders had crapped his pants on stage at a political rally the night before.
Donald Trump Awards Self Nobel Peace Prize After Single-handedly Stopping Bombing of Iran
Today, U.S. President Donald Trump officially presented himself with the highly esteemed Nobel Prize for Peace.
Congress Unanimously Passes Law Outlawing Release of Further “Land Before Time” Films
In a landmark decision made Monday Morning, the United States Congress outlawed the production and release of further Land Before Time films.
Ecuador Gives U.S. Military Permission to Use Galapagos Tortoises for Bomb Detection
In a shocking announcement made Friday morning, the US Government said that they had struck a deal with Ecuadorian president Lenín Moreno to use the local tortoise population to detect and disarm bombs and land mines.
Latest Articles
Donald Trump Suspended From Twitter for Release of Presidential Dick Pics
Eric Trump to Deliver DeVry Online University Commencement Address
DeVry University has tapped Trump Organization Vice President/COO and Twitter punching bag Eric Trump to deliver the commencement address to its graduating class of 2020.
Opinion: Everyone But Me Needs to Get Back to Normal
Why are you all sitting at home? Because the government told you to? Stop being a pussy. It’s time for things to get back to normal.
Clandestine Toilet Paper Lab Discovered in Sun Valley, NV
A local HAZMAT team has been called to clean up a recently-discovered large scale clandestine toilet paper lab operating out of Sun Valley, Nevada.
Nevada Brothels Prepare to Offer Social Distanced Services Upon Reopening
With the phased reopening of businesses in the state of Nevada underway, the Nevada sex industry is prepping its own guidelines for reopening its members’ doors.
Seriously, Being a Man Fucking Blows Too!
Did you know it totally fucking sucks to be a man? It’s true. Girls think having a dick is all sunshine & rainbows but that’s not the case at all!
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