Question:
Dear Emily,
Today I caught my husband muttering to himself about the state of his slippers. He accused the dog of wearing them at night and wearing them out in one spot. I tried to explain that he’s just experiencing cabin fever from the quarantine, but to no avail. The dog and I are quite concerned as he hasn’t even been daytime drinking. Help!
Sincerely,
Cooped Up With a Nut Job
Answer:
Dear Cooped Up,
It’s totally possible the dog has been wearing your Nut Job’s slippers in the middle of the night. Think about it… it’s the perfect crime! Waddling along when no one is watching and no one’s the wiser. Either the dog is wearing them, or he may be licking and or chewing them in a certain spot, creating wear. My dogs used to do this, too.
Solution? I bought new slippers and keep them in the closet at night so the dogs can’t get to them. And you know what!? Now my slippers are perfectly unworn, except for the gentle house wear they experience from my own feet.
Whether Nut Job really is nuts or the dog really is a slippery slipper hound, there’s only one way to stop the madness. Treat your man to a new pair of slippers. Lots of places are still delivering orders of goods while we are all in self-isolation. For further assistance with renegade dog-related issues, please reference my Q&A regarding feisty pets.
Best of luck,
Emily
About Ask Emily
Ask Emily is a whacky, satirical advice column brought to you by Content Spew.
Have a burning question you want to be answered? Seeking sound advice for a problem or dilemma? Curious about something that has you perplexed? Well, Emily is here to answer your questions. You may not like the answers or find them helpful, but they should at least provide some comic relief. Hey, at least it’s cheaper and more fun than therapy.
If you’d like to ask Emily a question of your own, fill out the form on the Ask Emily page and she’ll try to get back to you as soon as possible.
You can also visit our Facebook Group page to ask her questions directly. Come join in on the fun!
